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Black Friday is Dead
the glory days of stampedes, brawls, and shootouts over parking spaces are over. the old black friday is dead. long live the new black friday.
River Page
Nov 24, 2023
For most of my life, Black Friday has been a bloodbath of libidinal consumerism. Every year, we turned housewives into gladiators, arguing and beating each other over discounted bath towels at JC Penny. Black Friday meant pulling a gun in a Toys “R” US, being trampled to death by a crowd of 2,000 at Walmart, or having an old-West-style shootout over a parking spot in Tallahassee. In 2008, someone even created the website “Black Friday Death Count.” Black Friday always meant many things: a rush of adrenaline, excitement, fear, anxiety, and rage.
But this morning I felt bored. It was 5:45 AM, 15 minutes before opening time, at my local Walmart. A dozen or so people waited by the doors. They looked bored. The scene at Target around 6 am was similar. When I went to Kohl’s, which was already open, it was no more or less busy than it was last Thursday, when I randomly wandered in to pick up a Brita filter. I saw no fights, no arguments, no running.
I wondered, is Black Friday dead?
TBD If Racist Tweets Can Still Get You Fired
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