Tuesday: Three Morning Takes
a little less democracy / the whole foods clanker conspiracy / crime and… punishment?
PW Daily
Nov 4, 2025
A little less democracy
Good morning, it’s Election Day, and our ballots are packed with every crazy choice from California’s gerrymandering proposition (literally: should we gerrymander?) to Manhattan’s District Attorney, a role the average New Yorker doesn’t know exists yet nonetheless determines whether crime will be legal for the next four years. So it’s worth stating the obvious: we should be voting less. No American should be deciding on a Public Defender, City Attorney, DA, Treasurer, or school board member for example — these should all be mayoral appointments. And no random ass citizen should be able to craft legislation, and circumvent our elected representatives with a proposed law. The average voter barely pays attention, and our present radical system of maximum democracy in every corner of our lives exists only to benefit the most extremely and radically obsessed political creatures alive. Democracy means we have a right to representation. A better world would let our elected representatives represent us.
The Whole Foods Clanker Conspiracy
The “Amazonification of Whole Foods” is here, says the WSJ, with a new initiative now in the backrooms of some locations: SlopBots – er, ShopBots – are a “group of robots that fetch Tide Pods and Pepsi for shoppers” who aren’t interested in Whole Foods’ premium selection. After spending 8 years attempting to grow market share, the clandestine clanks are one of many subtle experiments designed to expand revenue without diluting brand positioning, but some Karen customers are complaining about the decline in quality – and thank God for that. Because if you don’t wanna burn your hard-earned and hyperinflated dollar on the fancy Tide Pods and Soda, then what the FUCK are you doing in a Whole Foods, bitch? This place exists to indulge me and my ilk in our most neurotic health and superiority complexes, and if you ain’t down with that system, your path is clear: begone to Costco, peasant.
Crime and… Punishment?
Brian K. Williams, Los Angeles’ former “deputy mayor of public safety” who decided to completely jeopardize public safety last year by calling in a fake bomb threat to City Hall, has received the sentencing for his crime: a $5,000 fine and some community service. Williams claimed he received a work call from someone “tired of the city’s support of Israel” who had placed a bomb in the City Hall’s rotunda (after LAPD investigated, it turns out the call came from… Williams’ personal cell phone). I’m just glad to see LA finally cracking down on crime — having to pay the equivalent of *one* Los Angeles parking ticket and complete 50 whole hours of community service for the meager crime of (checks notes) threatening to kill everyone at City Hall? If that’s not justice, I don’t know what is (also, next time you don’t wanna show up to work, Mr. Deputy Mayor? Maybe just call in sick).
