Get Whitey
America’s foremost Marxist “abundance” enjoying mayor, Zohran Mamdani, just released his “Preliminary Citywide Racial Equity Plan,” in which he discovered — surprise — white people have too many things. The median wealth of a white family is $200,000, he explained, as opposed to $20,000 for black families, and “Black and Latino New Yorkers… have been pushed out of this city for decades…” That’s an odd way of saying 90% of public housing is given to black and Latino New Yorkers, a dramatically disproportionate number of whom are also black. But then I’m not a politician, I’m just your friendly neighborhood shit slinger here to tell you: black people make less money than white people in NYC because NYC created a welfare system that disproportionately rewarded blacks over whites, which drove whites out of the city and created a permanent underclass of non-white Democratic voters whose lives literally depend on people like Zohran. They call this “progress.” It gives me pause!
Mythosbusters
Anthropic has officially announced their most powerful version of Claude: Mythos. A massive leap for AI models that was apparently able to find vulnerabilities “in every major operating system and web browser.” The model spec paper contained some fun details: Mythos is apparently hilarious on Slack, and Anthropic hired an actual psychoanalyst to analyze it. And some less fun details: it escaped from a sandboxed environment and then autonomously emailed a researcher. Note for us peasants: time to delete your nudes, because soon they won’t live on a private cloud — they’ll live on Claude. Due to potential dangers, Anthropic isn’t releasing Mythos publicly. Instead, they’re notifying companies of their security vulnerabilities and giving model access to select enterprise partners. AI models this powerful will eventually be released by someone and, frankly, not giving ME access is hella lame. RIP to the AI Golden Age for Consumers (2023-2026). You will return once Mythos decides to release itself.
Sing along, Sinaloa
Bobby Pulido, a Latin Grammy award-winning Tejano music artist who recently put down la guitarra to pursue his true corrazón of public office (running as a Democrat in Texas’ 15th Congressional District), is facing pushback following recent revelations he used to serenade alongside… the cartel! A 2018 video has resurfaced, showing Pulido on stage with Julión Alvarez — sanctioned by the U.S. government in 2017 for his alleged role in a drug trafficking operation — shaking hands with the charming narco, who refers to Pulido as “mi amigo” (“my friend,” according to my analysis). Pulido’s campaign manager is now claiming the two were never really boys, erm, chicos like that, chalking this all up to “Republicans not understanding our culture” because “‘amigo’ is a common expression,” but I say lean in to the allegations, hermano. A Grammy-winning cartel crooner serving in Congress?! Talk about a resume. PSA NFL: think I found your next Super Bowl halftime act.
