Friday: Three Morning Takes
mayor pratt / sam altman is relatable, actually / someone left my cake out in the rain (and eunisses hernandez ate it)
PW Daily
May 8, 2026
MAYOR PRATT
Former charming reality television villain and present day LA mayoral candidate Spencer Pratt surged above 20% in the prediction markets following his tremendous debate against incumbent Clown World Karen Bass, who presided over the city’s disastrous response to the LA Palisades fires, and Nithya Raman, a sociopathic Marxist city councilmember. Once considered a joke — by every outlet other than Pirate Wires — it turns out there’s still tremendous political alpha in simply getting on a stage and telling the truth. Pratt forcefully picked apart the fires, homelessness, drugs and crime, explained exactly how the women on stage with him perversely stood in favor of further chaos, and shared his plan to help the city. Now, the whole country is watching. The primary is only in a few weeks, and Spencer’s odds are low, but he achieved the most important thing in politics in 2026: he got our attention. A star is born.
Sam Altman is relatable, actually
During Sam Altman’s ousting from OpenAI, he and interim chief Mira Murati shared some tasty texts, recently made public by the Musk v. Altman trial. The best exchange (which is quickly becoming a new meme) was after Mira had a tense meeting with investors: Sam goes “can you indicate directionally good or bad? satya and others anxious”; Mira goes “Directionally very bad”; to which Sam responds: “ok.” Then, after Sam asks, for about the 17th time, for a meeting to plead his case, Mira breaks the news gently that “They don’t want you.” (Dayum). Two points: anxiety is universal! Second — and this is a reminder to my damn self — if you ever find yourself, and your many questions, at the mercy of someone’s curt, infrequent responses… yes you are RIGHT that they couldn’t care less if you live or die, and it’s probably best to ZIP UP THAT TRAPPER KEEPER and call it a night.
Someone left my cake out in the rain (and Eunisses Hernandez ate it)
In a coordinated effort this week dubbed “Operation Free MacArthur Park,” hundreds of agents with the DEA, DOJ, and LAPD swooped in to the destitute area of downtown LA — once an idyllic urban oasis Donna Summer sang fondly about in the 70s, now resembling the dystopian lovechild of Chicago’s O-Block and Port-au-Prince, Haiti — arresting several individuals for fentanyl and meth distribution. Since the park has been overrun with tents, needles, and fent-folding schizos for years, many are now asking ‘gee, why’d it take so long to do literally anything about this iconic location becoming a third-world Hooverville?’ and if I know one thing, it’s definitely not because the area’s represented by city councilmember / DSA torta Eunisses Hernandez, who believes all police and prisons should be abolished (her actual stated positions). Remember to pay attention to local elections, folks… especially when Ozempic-immune anarchists who appear to have taken ‘Eat the Rich’ too literally are on the ballot.
