I was born in 1993, socially and medically transitioned (MtF) in 2019, and detransitioned at the beginning of 2024. Though I ultimately concluded that transitioning didn’t improve my gender dysphoria, and that it’s the wrong choice for almost everyone suffering from it, I don’t regret transitioning. What I learned about men and women — and our culture generally — was worth the physical and emotional pain of transition and de-transition.

My medical transition included hormone replacement therapy, facial feminization surgery, and breast augmentation. I also extensively trained my voice. After all the procedures, I believe I was perceived as female by 90% of people in passing, and 70 to 80% of those with whom I had an extended conversation. Though of course this didn’t make me a woman, the experience of (sometimes, in some ways) being seen as one was revelatory.

Here’s a list of the things I learned when I was trans —