Say what you will about former chairman of the Chinese Communist Party Mao Zedong, the dude bagged a lot of chicks.

Sure, he often did so while married, had to be treated for several venereal diseases as a result, and started sleeping with a girl when she was 14, but that’s beside the point — what’s important is the dude was a magnet for hot Asian ass, with an alluring “start stripping or I’ll kill your family” kind of charm, and while many of his people may have been starving, the same can’t be said for homeboy in the bedroom. This makes communism cool. Obviously.

Today, Mao’s horny spirit lives on in the form of Hasan Piker, avid reader of the deceased dictator and macho poster boy of the DSA movement sweeping across the country. As socialists currently attempt to convince us they’re undergoing a “Woke 2” evolution — out with the Karen aesthetics of a blue-haired chick screaming her pronouns, in with the Chad aesthetics of a jacked straight guy calling for your assets to be seized to fund third-world fraud — Hasan has become something of a socialist brand ambassador, campaigning with DSA candidates everywhere from Michigan to New York City.

Oh, and these candidates are winning, too. Not just elections, but also the hearts and minds of young people.

The question remains, though: what do these ascendent socialists actually believe?

And more importantly: could understanding their ideology help me unlock the secret to becoming an ultramasculine, commie pussy slayer like Hasan and Mao?

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I decided to find out by going on Reddit, a website for people who definitely have a lot of sex. There, a popular subreddit called “r/Socialism_101” teaches 76,000 weekly visitors the basics of the ideology by “provid[ing] answers and tools for an early contact with socialist thought,” while also redirecting many of its visitors to the work of popular influencers like Hasan and the Marxist YouTuber Hakim.