“Are we dating the same guy?” was once something you’d ask a friend over brunch. It was in-person, it was quiet. And, in the era of analog dating, that might have been enough. But when OkCupid, Hinge, Tinder and Bumble got involved, the sheer profusion of dates, and the interpersonal dynamics of dating that come with it, exploded.

In response, a new digital whisper network has emerged in the form of “Are We Dating The Same Guy” (AWDTSG) Facebook groups. These groups began to appear in 2022 when Paola Sanchez launched the first one in New York, and have since spread around the world, attracting millions of highly engaged members.