All the news that’s fit to print. A few weeks back, at the end of 2023, the more reliably idiotic elements of our tech press published a torrent of eulogies for Twitter. The app was dead, the Twitter-addicted political activists once again tweeted on the app that “was dead.” The sentiment followed a year of similar declarations themselves catalyzed by an initial onslaught of baseless, activist-concocted F.U.D. Here, just as when this all began, we were told there were many reasons for Twitter’s death, but none so significant as Elon’s failure to adequately “moderate” content. In other words, he suspended the artificial boosting of state sock puppets from NBC and the Washington Post, and stopped doing aggressive political censorship at the request of actual state operatives. But is Twitter really over? 

Well, yes.

“Twitter,” as defined as the state’s favored platform for controlling the American political narrative, is — at this point obviously! — gone. Like, totally dead. Sacked, scorched, salted. And nothing better illustrates this fact than the end of Claudine Gay, Harvard University’s now-disgraced former President, embodiment of all the radically leftist, racist, anti-meritocratic values we were forced to publicly celebrate just a couple years ago. This week, after six new plagiarism allegations were levied against the woman on New Year’s Day, she finally resigned (here’s her resignation letter). It was, for this DEI bureaucrat from Hell turned de facto leader of American academia, an incredible accomplishment: Gay now holds the record for shortest tenure of any president in Harvard’s 387-year history. Slay, queen.