“Journalism can never be silent*: that is its greatest virtue and its greatest fault. It must speak, and speak immediately, while the echoes of wonder, the claims of triumph, and the signs of horror are still in the air.” -Henry Anatole Grunwald

*unless that journalism includes info about the local immigration support non-profit, then you’re going to jail bitch hahaha

Our story begins at the epicenter of almost all affronts to Constitutional rights / basic decency / shit-free sidewalks: the state of California, where Gavin Newsom and his henchmen of union mouthpieces in Sacramento sensed trouble was afoot.

A young, ragged, hoodie-donning agitator by the name of Nick Shirley, armed with an iPhone camera and a healthy distrust of government officials, had just completed a trip to Minnesota, during which our humble protagonist stumbled upon some curious findings.

Several government-funded daycare centers — all run by individuals who happened to be of a certain common ancestry, an ancestry that happens to be one known for piracy — were not only poorly-spelled… they also had a mysterious lack of children (typically found at daycare centers) and generally appeared to be vectors for outright fraud more than fun playplaces hosting Ms. Rachel singalongs.

This was on the heels of the Feeding Our Future saga, a bombshell scandal in which several Minnesota residents (who also happened to be of the aforementioned ancestry, curious!) stole millions of tax dollars designated for COVID relief in the state, using the money to splurge on cars, vacations, and other various luxuries. In other words, the land of “Minnesota nice” had a bit of a blindspot for scammer exploitation, it turns out, and Shaggy Shirley — “Skater S. Thompson,” they call him (they don’t) — was doing his part to uncover it through gonzo-style, on-the-ground reporting.

After subsequently racking up over 100 million views on YouTube, Shirley’s Minnesota exposé ultimately led to a full-scale response from the Trump administration, including an FBI raid of the “daycare centers,” a freezing of funds by the Department of Health and Human Services, and even the establishment of a Vance-led taskforce dedicated entirely to cracking down on fraud.

But the real kicker came when Shirley announced his next act…